Taxi's Articles

What Hope, America?!

So Donald the Trumpet wants to be president of the United States. And Lindsey Graham crackers wants it too. Jeb the Bushka will give it a go and Rand Paul and Hillary Ono and Bernie Sanders – uhuh Bernie too.

That’s kinda the toppish dog line-up America’s got to choose from for president. Oh fuck!

Donald Trump. If he wins he’ll force us all to shampoo with Pantene Pro V.

Lindsay Graham: If he wins he’ll rename America Zionica and move the White House to a gay neighborhood in Tel Aviv.

Jeb Bush. If he wins, his mother will come spank us all one by one before bedtime – for four years.

Rand Paul. If he wins, he’ll have cop cars and armed drones chasing robbers down your Main Street and mine.

Hillary Clinton. If she wins, American sex scandals will be back in vogue and zilch will ever get done.

Bernie Sanders. If he wins, the Elders of Zion will sell more copies than the bible.

Oh fuck! An acute crisis of leadership is upon us.



  1. i’m not engaging in this particular presidential election because it is worthless. maybe never ever again at the rate we’re going!

    btw, didn’t rand paul do an anti drone 13 hr filibuster? you gotta write a better critique of him if he’s gonna fit in with the others. i know you can do it.

    • “National security and defense policy

      “Paul opposes the USA PATRIOT Act, including warrantless searches.[13] He has also proposed that the TSA be eliminated[14] and opposes the extrajudicial killing of American citizens in the United States who are terrorism suspects.[15] He did however express support for domestic use of armed drones for law enforcement to use”

      Google ‘Rand Paul position on drones’ for more articles on this subject and you’ll find the Rand dude has flip-flopped on the drone issue so many times. He’s obviously squeezed between his regular Joe supporter and his MIC donors – and we all know that should he win, his MIC donors will get the final say.

      • AbuMalia says:

        Yes, the American’s are fucked in the wrong orifice, the question is with or without vaseline. Ladyboy Lindsay, for his part promises to fuck ’em gently with a chainsaw.

        That incredibly vulgar statement been said, I agree with annie, you got Rand completely wrong. He will usher in a “dog eat dog” world of pure unadulterated, cutthroat capitalism – but at least he will cut down the Fed to size. Might even (if he takes his father’s advise) audit the Jewish magicians who conjure money out of thin air.

        Somebody’s grandmother will be kicked out of her apartment after he abolishes rent controls in some big cities. Without Gov’mint cheese tho, there will be riots in the streets.

        I’d support Mr. lucifer himself to be in the oval office – hooved feet up on the desk, pointy tail resting on the plush carpet if he will make a campaign promise to poke the zionists with his pitchfork and sprinkle them with hellfire.

        There are, in my opinion, three irredeemably abhorrent groups of people.

        1- zionists
        2- takfiris aka wahabis aka khawarejites
        2- cannibals (i don’t know if there are any of them left)

        and in that particular order too!

        Free Palestine you cowardly SOBs!

      • AbuMalia,

        While everyone is occupied with aipac support and non-support of presidential candidates, the Military Industrial Complex – which, in practice is oft the silent military partner of warmongering aipac – is working to insure that the next president is 100% in support of drone warfare overseas and the use of drones domestically too. Supplying the cost-effective drones to both markets is the aim of MIC and the suave Paul Rand is completely up for that, as my links amply demonstrate. I don’t think I’ve got Mr Paul wrong on that front at all.

        I’ve stopped parsing candidates’ fiscal policies cuz they’re all beholden to Wall Street corpos and their crimes against the 99% will continue unabated under every single president – whether they claim they want a ‘smaller fed’ or not. I don’t expect Paul Rand to change this winning equation for the 1% at all. In fact, when a politician starts waxing lyrical about “smaller government”, I spit at the sky they’re standing under. About the most bullshit populist statement any candidate in America can make is: “smaller government”. I run a mile when I hear that – not because of its meaningful content, but because I see it as a grotesque ruse to collect poor people’s votes without intent to deliver.

        Our democracy is broken – we live in a corpocracy that serves only the creme of the elite and only a spontaneous mass American intifada can break it and reset our democracy to truly serve the majority.

        Sad fact is, there’s no one to vote for in 2016 who is even slightly trustworthy. Just look at the acrobatic flip-flopping of our deeply disappointing ‘Hope’ president as an example. Because of Obama, ‘Hope’ is now a dirty-dirty word – and political cynicism will undoubtedly be ruling America this side of the 21st century.


    Rand is not as bad as you think, Taxi. True, he has been licking zionist ass recently, but that is probably because he saw what happened to dad, who didn’t do that, and consequently, got no press at all, despite his powerful support from the youth of America.

    Now, I happen not to agree with this tactics and think he should take an anti-Israeli stance. In the current environment, he would get a lot more support than he realizes. Given that there are already 12 candidates in the republican party, it wouldn’t take too big a lead to get nominated.×401/local/-/media/Indianapolis/2015/03/11/B9316560122Z.1_20150311104210_000_GF9A6IRUT.1-0.jpg

    On the other side of the aisle, Hillary will probably get nominated as Bernie is not going anywhere. Actually, that might be another clue to the rising anti-Israeli sentiments in this country. His running does give us the opportunity to challenge his pro-Israel stance in public – which is a good thing. It will be interesting to see how she squirms out of the email scandal and the Libyan fiasco – but this is Washington and all will be forgiven.

    Iran is going to be a big deal in this election, depending on how the deal at the end of this month turns out. I am not sure there is going to be a deal, and I think that is a good thing. The sanctions are going to fall apart anyway, (they already are fraying) and without the deal, Iran doesn’t have to be constrained or kiss our ass as much.

    It is always darkest before dawn…

    • Politicians will say anything, and I mean absolutely anything, to win a grand prize election such as the White House residency.

      There is nothing more loathsome than a politician at election time.

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