Bibi: Goddam this moonshine’s good – give me s’more, you give me s’more now!
General Zee: Think you’ve had enough – should go home now and–
Bibi: Awww put a sock in it – just hand the bottle over – I’m in the middle of having a great fish-fish… fision, fizion, vison, vijon, I mean vision of this great big bad–
General Zee: Mr. Prime Minister, I urge you please stop drinking or you’ll–
Bibi snatches the bottle of moonshine from the General’s hand and takes a long spilling swig.
Bibi: You leave me alone! I’m drinking for Israel! For the Jewish homeland! Drinking for Hertzog and Hitler and hell’s bells!
General Zee: Why are you doing this to yourself, huh?! Look at you! Slurring, drooling, red eyes – can’t believe you let Putin drive you to the bottle.
Bibi: Oh it’s hopeless! He wouldn’t budge an inch! He’s sending Bashar the S-300, he’s sending Iran the S-300 too and this can only mean that Hezbollah will soon enough have the S-300 – and if Hezbollah has them then the lawn weeds in Gaza will too – see how it happens, how it works, how it goes: the snake in the grass?
General Zee: You’re just upsetting yourself over nothing – it won’t happen – we won’t let it!
Bibi: You go tell that to our people huh! You go tell them that I, me, moi, king Jeebee of the Bews –
General Zee: You mean king Bibi of the Jews.
Bibi: Bee Bee King yeah that’s me, that’s really me, I know myself well – goddamn it the whole world knows me! So you, you go tell ’em in Tel Aviv, tell ’em I went to Moscow and I fellated the hairy bear all night long for them! You go tell them the world hates us and won’t save us from the Arab terrorists – tell ’em the antisemites are doing a lotta fucking every night and making alotta baby antisemites – disgusting little pink and brown things – they’re everywhere! Go tell the people of Israel that I demanded Putin put a clause in the S-300 contacts specifying Syria and Iran be forbidden from using these weapons against god’s chosen people! I did that, I really did that for them! You go tell ’em that when I told Putin that the United States gives us these kinds of breaks all the time, he just looked at me and gave me the silent answer – that crazy Russian silent answer! You go tell them in Tel Aviv that he made me sit in a short chair made in the Ukraine!
General Zee: Oy vey what are you saying?!
Bibi: I’m saying we’re fucked – we got no friends on earth we can depend on.
General Zee: But Putin, he can’t hurt us – I mean he doesn’t care about Palestine.
Bibi: But he cares a big deal about Syria.
General Zee: But our boys in America–
Bibi: Awww they don’t give a shit anymore! Iran! Iran! They did a deal with the motherfucking Mullahs! How friendly is that, huh?! I swear the world is spinning upside down! No, America doesn’t want us anymore. Not in the same way. I’m feeling it, really feeling it – yes they still like us but they don’t worship up anymore – how can we exist without others worshiping us?! Impossible! I’m telling you its over! Goddamn the internet, goddamn the outernet – it’s goddamn over!
General Zee: Now you’re being melodramatic – even a little paranoid. Remember what Sheldon said–
Bibi: Don’t give me Sheldon Shmeldon! I’m telling you all we can do is pretend to still be friends with America for as long as we can.
General Zee: That’s just not true – I mean we have AIPAC, we have money, we have the Christian Zionists, the Rothschilds – I mean Fox News alone–
Bibi: Fox News, Shmux news! No! No! The honeymoon is over – there I said it! It’s never gonna be the same again. The American people, they’ve fallen out of love with us – you know how it goes, you’ve been married a few decades yourself, right? The thrill is gone, and once it’s gone, it’s gone – poof – forever poof–
General Zee: Bibi stop yourself! You’re not thinking right – all that drinking–
Bibi: Is making me see the future – this kosher moonshine here is like a crystal ball to the brain and my crystal ball tells me we’re losing our hold on the people – more and more we’re losing people – and at some stage, when too many people are leaving us, the politicians will have to follow… POOF!! Goddamn it POOF! All we can do is buy time and get as much out of America as we can. You know it, I know it… poof… it was good while it lasted, I guess.
The General turns glum. Knowingly. Bitter.
Bibi takes another hard swig, darkly.
Liquid moonshine swills and catches light in the bottle.
Both men eye-up the last remaining golden double-shot.
Then they lock eyes… intensely.
Brows crease and a rage brews up their breathing.
General Zee: You don’t deserve the last bit of moonshine you bastard!!!
Like lightning General Zee steals the bottle from Bibi’s hand and fast drinks to the last drop.
Bibi buries his face in his hands.
Darkness fills the empty bottle.